Wedding Planning, Oh my!

Well here we are...I'm officially in the midst of wedding planning. As much as I thought that I was prepared for the process of wedding planning (I'm definitely one of those girls that's been buying wedding magazines since I could walk into the store and hand over my tooth fairy money), it has been a pretty overwhelming roller coaster ride so far. It's like that True Hollywood Story slogan (or was it from MTV?)..."You think you know...but you have no idea." I really thought I had it all figured out and that I knew what the wedding planning process would entail. I had ideas for a color palette, knew what I wanted my dress to look like, had visions of a homemade-looking wedding cake and simply chic invitations. I knew that it would be stressful, but I felt that at least I had done my homework and knew what the general process would entail.

Fast forward to October of this year...I'm finally engaged....reading the issue of The Knot that's specifically for the NYC area (my first bridal magazine purchased as an engaged lady!)...and I am losing it. "What?! What do you mean we have to register? Omg...we have to apply for a marriage license??" I realized that I had put a lot of thought into the fun, aesthetic aspects of wedding planning like the dress and the centerpieces, yet I was thoroughly unprepared for all of the nitty-gritty aspects of planning this huge and complicated event. This process is so much bigger and crazier than I ever imagined, and there have been many surprises on the way. What's amazing about weddings is that everyone has an opinion, and everyone thinks it should be relatively easy to put together a pretty, personal, inexpensive wedding. It isn't. Especially in my area, where everything is marked up 400 percent just because. Also, it's the holidays, so it's planning upon planning upon planning. And you should know something about me...I both love and loathe planning. So you can see how I kind of feel like I'm on a state of psychological and emotional overload, ready to burst at any given moment.

I imagine that the process of wedding planning is a completely different animal in the age of the internet. There are countless, and I mean countless blogs and websites dedicated to wedding planning and inspiration. This is both good and bad. Two websites that have been undeniably helpful for me are weddingbee.com and weddingwire.com. Weddingbee is a site that I came across while I was in the pre-engagement stage...they have a board called simply "Waiting" where waiting "bees" as they call themselves can discuss, complain and offer support to other waiting bees as they deal with that MIA ring. As much as you may raise an eyebrow to someone looking for support in an "online community," this board was really helpful to me. The vast majority of my friends were not in the realm of seriously waiting on a ring, so it was nice to know that I wasn't crazy - the waiting period is a really stressful, emotional time, especially for us ladies who like to plan (see above). Now that I'm actually engaged, I turn to this site both for the bloggers, who are a diverse group of women who document their planning experiences, and for the members who discuss all of the random issues one comes across in this crazy process. At Weddingbee, you can type in the most random problems, from what ladies thought about the alterations department at a certain bridal salon in your area, to how other brides managed their ever-growing guest lists and budgets. The topics of guest lists and budgets bring me to weddingwire.com, which is super-helpful for when you're really in the midst of planning. It is free, so you just sign up and can manage your budget, guest list, planning checklist, wedding website...it's amazing, and I would highly recommend it.

Other websites that I enjoy are Oncewed.com, Ruffledblog.com, and Stylemepretty.com....but you must observe these sites with caution. They are full of "real weddings" that are great for inspiring your creativity and overall vision for your wedding. This wedding was recently on Ruffled and was just beautiful:

(http://ruffledblog.com/vintage-southern-wedding/)

And then there was this wedding, whose flowers I will definitely be showing my florist for inspiration:

(http://ruffledblog.com/raspberry-pink-romantic-wedding/?pid=506&pageid=27069#ngg-imagebrowser-pic)

Amidst all the pretty, however, there is a dark side to all of the "wedding porn," as these blogs have crassly been called. Some of these weddings will just make you feel like an inferior, completely uncreative and unoriginal person. Take this wedding:

(http://www.oncewed.com/36091/wedding-blog/real-weddings/handmade-georgia-farm-wedding/)

The bride is French (and happens to look like Zooey Deschanel). The groom is Southern. The bride's mother MADE her wedding dress...and the covers for the hay bales...and the table runners. A friend made the boutonnieres. Yet another friend did the catering. They just did away with having a bridal party. And while their wedding was damn beautiful, it also made me angry. While I have a decent amount of hookups (my mom's friend is a florist/event planner, a friend bakes cakes professionally, my fiance is part owner of a wedding photography company)...nothing comes free. And I (nor my fiance) wouldn't really want it that way. Yes it's my wedding day, but I'm not comfortable imposing on people (even my mother) to the point where they are laboring for free. And I'm not a French Zooey Deschanel look-alike. I just can't compete!

Here is the ultimate inferiority-complex inducing wedding. This bride put together her pretty (and very color-coordinated) wedding for 10,000. Mind you, it was in Tenessee, which gives her an unfair advantage...but still.

(http://www.projectwedding.com/wedding-ideas/the-budget-savvy-bride-from-tennessee)

The thing with this bride (and many of these DIY-chic brides) is that she is a graphic designer. So not only did she design all of her stationery, programs, signs...even the wine bottle labels and the utensil wrappers...she also traded her graphic design services for a 2,000 dollar photography package. Yeah. I kind of hate her. I mean, I'm in awe of her but also....jeez. Why did I not take graphic design classes in college? Why do I not have innate floral-arranging abilities? Why oh WHY does my mom not sew? It's enough to drive a bride nuts.

My solution to all of this is to try to prioritize. It's all about figuring out what's important and what's not, and saving your creative energy for those things that really get you excited. There are so many expectations as far as etiquette, traditions and pomp and circumstance when it comes to weddings. Ironically, the "DIY-vintage-shabby-chic-wedding-on-a-budget" weddings that have emerged as a rebellion to the etiquette, traditions and pomp and circumstance are just as daunting to your average bride (aka me) as the crazy "platinum weddings" of yore. You just have to trust that your day will be beautiful and romantic and personal, even if the utensil wrappers don't match the programs. Just don't tell the Budget-Savvy Bride From Tennessee :).

Smoky Eyes Two Ways

Hey everybody! Man it is hard to keep up with blogging amidst the wedding planning...I'm realizing that I need to declare a couple days a week "wedding-free" days for my own sanity and for the sake of this blog. Instead of reading reviews of yet another reception venue location, I'm going to spend my mental energy on one of my favorite pre-engagement topics: makeup!! I've been wanting to discuss eye makeup for awhile because I've found that amongst my girlfriends, a lot of them shy away from trying smoky eyes, thinking that they'd be too complicated or make them look crazy. Au contraire! Eye makeup is so fun because there are so many looks to try and it really is foolproof as long as you apply a little at a time and slowly build the look. It's kind of like painting. Today I'm going to outline two different ways to do the smoky eye: daytime and nighttime.

The Daytime Smoky Eye

As seen on Julia Roberts (picture from glamour.com/beauty)

So I know that eye makeup sounds like a lot to deal with on a daily basis, but it can have major prettiness payoff, and you can customize your routine depending on how much time you have in the morning. Here we go:

Step 1: Concealer. Every good eye makeup look starts with a good concealer underneath the eye and in the inner corners. Two concealers I love are:

CoverGirl and Olay Simply Ageless concealer

Fresh Supernova Radiance Brightening Pen

These two concealers are the bomb. I always use the CoverGirl in the morning (sometimes with some of the Fresh on top if I'm really tired), and the Fresh is great to apply later in the day if you're getting ready to go out.

2. Brows
Brows are so, so important for any eye look. If you keep your brows shaped and groomed (but not overly thin), you're well on your way to looking polished. I brush mine up and out and add a little taupe eyeshadow with an eyeshadow brush to darken and define them a tad. Tweezing happens once a week or so.

3. Eyeshadow
When I started actually wearing eyeshadow (which I really didn't until college), CoverGirl eyeshadow quads really saved me. In my opinion, these quads are the best for creating natural-yet-noticeable daytime eye makeup looks. Applying is this simple: apply the lightest shade as a highlight under your eyebrows and in the inner corner of your eyes, apply the medium shades to the lids (I usually apply a little of both of the medium shades) and then apply a little of the darkest shade to the outer third of your eye and blend it a little bit into the crease. The CoverGirl shadows are sheer enough that you don't worry about it being too much.


4. Eyeliner
Next I use a pencil eyeliner and smudge/dot it along my upper lashline. As I wrote in a previous blog entry, I've been really liking Revlon Colorstay eyeliner in Black/Brown. Once I have the eyeliner along my upper lashline, I use a spongy blender brush that came with my makeup brush set (it's pretty similar to those spongy applicators that come with eyeshadows), and smudge the eyeliner so it's soft and a little smoky with no hard edges. I then use the bit of eyeliner that's on the smudger to add a little color to the bottom lashline, only on the outer half of the eye. When in doubt, smudge/blend with your fingers.

5. Eyelash Curler/Mascara
Easy! I love CoverGirl VolumeExact for everyday - a couple coats on top lashes and one light one on bottom.

The Nighttime Smoky Eye

Kate Beckinsale...does she ever not look gorgeous??

1. So the great thing about nighttime smoky eyes is that you can just add products on top of whatever you're wearing. If you didn't already have some daytime eye makeup on, apply concealer as you would normally.

2. Eye shadow. This is the key to demystifying the smoky eye, I think. As a rule: do not start out with black eyeshadow, or even gray. These colors are difficult to pull off and require a skilled hand. I would do color: bronzes and shades of purple/plum are my personal faves, but if you have brown eyes, do the Beckinsale and try green! Navy can also be really flattering. When applying, just use a little at a time. Cover the lid, maybe go into the crease a little...just do as much or as little as you're comfortable with. Step back every moment or so and look at your work from a little farther away. If you have a small, travel-size blush brush, you can use it to lightly blend/diffuse any hard edges outward so there are no weird smudges or lines. If you are using an eyeshadow duo or palette, use a medium shade over the crease and use the darker shade (or a tiny bit of black eyeshadow if you feel comfortable) to shade the outer corner and crease.

3. Get a little bit of eyeshadow, either the medium shade or the darker shade depending on what you prefer, onto an angle brush and apply to your lower lashline. Blend a little with your finger if needed.

4. Line your upper lid with black eyeliner - either a pencil or liquid, whichever you prefer. I like Almay black eyeliner and NYC liquid eyeliner (it has the best, tiny little brush that makes it really easy to build a smooth line).

5. Curl lashes, apply lots of mascara. For nighttime, I love to layer L'Oreal Collagen Volume mascara over my CoverGirl VolumeExact to the top lashes only - it gives the look of false lashes without that extra effort.

Done! Just try it...you will look gorgeous.

Well I'm Engaged...So There's That.

(!!!!!!!)

So I have totally, inexcusably neglected this blog lately...it feels like it's only been a couple weeks, but in reality it's been almost a month since I posted. I am sorry. No really, I am. I love this blog and I am really proud of it and I really hate that I haven't been posted. Buuutttt.....

I'm engaged!!!

So there's my excuse, despite the whole "inexcusable" thing. It happened last Tuesday (October 19th!), and between that and the 5 thousand million auditions I've been going on, my computer time has been really limited. But here I am, feeling (as Jane says in Pride and Prejudice when Bingley finally pops the question) like "the most fortunate creature that ever existed." I'll spare you all the corny details of how I (impatiently) waited for months for the proposal, and how he ever-so-casually proposed on the Highline Park in Chelsea and how I somehow could not spit out the word "Yes" for about a good five minutes...anyway. It has happened, and now that it's really settled in, and the phone calls have been made, and the shock of calling him "my fiance" has worn off, I look at my hand and just feel pure joy, and excitement for what is to come.

Despite the horror and dismay I came across recently in realizing how crazy expensive it can be to throw a wedding in my neck of the woods, man I am loving wedding planning! I've been calling a few venues trying to find the right place, and I am telling you, there is no sweeter question to hear than "Are you the bride?" Every time I am asked, I can't resist almost squealing "YES!" I also think, every time I give my name to one of the planners, that my last name will be different very soon. I am just delighted. I was kind of born to be a bride-to-be, as ridiculous as it sounds. I am just hoping that the small breakdown I had on Monday night (well, if you ask my fiance, maybe it wasn't so small) will be the only one and that I will somehow be able to enjoy the process without getting overwhelmed or having unrealistic expectations. Thankfully I have wonderful friends (and sisters-in-law-to-be!), not to mention my family and fiance, that I know will lovingly but firmly keep my head on straight - without these people, I would be a puddle of nerves and emotion, pretty much all day every day. Thank you to everyone who has stuck by me during the "waiting" period to see me come out the other side as a proudly engaged woman....I could not be more grateful for both your support and your tough love. 

So there we go. I vow to you and to myself that I will not neglect Go Austen anymore, and I really appreciate everyone reading. Onward to more ramblings (including some tidbits of wedding planning, hazah!).

P.S. Remember those fabulous hardcover classic books from Anthropologie that I featured recently? Well guess what I got Neil as an engagement present...

hey I can try to be as patient as Penelope right?

P.P.S. Thank you Cecilia for your super-sweet compliment! I will try not to let you and your sister down. :)

That's So Austen.

Things right now that have stood out to me as very Austen lately, as fall has finally descended on the Northeast:

Anthropologie

If you know me, you know I'm OBSESSED with Anthropologie. Most of my wardrobe is either from this store or looks like it's from this store (and is actually from Target, Forever21 or Kohls...gotta love some bargains). I swear that if Austen heroines were living today, they would be dressed head to toe in clothing from this ladylike, smart, classic-with-a-twist store. Last night I was sitting in an Anthropologie on a leather couch and it just came to me...the English undertones...the cheeky wit...the weathered, countryside-ish wood...it's just SO Austen. AND...!!

OMG the books!! They are now carrying these beautiful, antique-looking hardcover versions of some my absolute favorite books: Pride and Prejudice, Emma, The Odyssey and many more. I cannot deal. I want them all. But of course, at 20 bucks a pop, I can't just buy them all. SO where do I start?? I'm tempted to get Pride and Prejudice (just finished my re-read of it last night! Damn it is SO good. Elizabeth to Darcy: "To be sure, you knew no actual good of me--but nobody thinks of that when they fall in love."), as my copy is literally falling apart. But I want Emma! Can I even choose between Pride and Prejudice, which I love so much, and Emma, which I also love to the point that it is my future daughter's namesake? And then I also want Sense and Sensibility, so I can read it next! But I also need the Odyssey, aka my favorite love story ever! Oh Anthropologie, the endless dilemmas you create in my mind...

English Countryside Beauty

This picture is from an entry in the Beauty Department blog at luckymag.com. I just think this girl is beautiful, and she reminds me of a combination of Elizabeth and Jane in the most recent Pride and Prejudice movie. The big eyes, defined brows, delicate flush of the lips and cheeks...ever notice how in Austen novels (and other works from the time) they're always mentioning people's "colouring" in conjunction with their emotions? I.e. "But Jane, you are so pale" and "Elizabeth had a healthy colour in her cheeks after her exercise in the country"? And eyes are also important...there's a whole part of Pride and Prejudice where Darcy is made fun of for stating that Elizabeth has "fine eyes." So I'm loving this soft and gentle makeup...some shades to try to get this particular shade of flush would be Nars the Multiple in Maui, Nars lipstick in Dolce Vita, or Stila Convertible Color in Lillium...try it out girls! Perfect for fall.

The Lace-Up Bootie

Now I don't pretend to know what kind of shoes Austen ladies would have actually worn, but I imagine that they would have worn something at least in this genre and that they would have approved that they're now one of the biggest shoe trends out there. I got myself a pair of grey leather ones that are a little low-cut in the front and have a medium-height heel, and I can't wait to wear them now that it's finally cold enough to stop wearing sandals! They're so cute and versatile and I feel like there's a lace-up bootie for everyone out there right now, you just have to search a little bit! Stay tuned for a post on how I actually dress around these babies...a challenge that I am ready for.

That is all, happy Tuesday! Embrace your inner English Country Rose...you know you want to.

Skincare

Happy Friday ladies (and gents)! Today I'm going to talk about that very complicated topic of skincare. I don't know about you, but sometimes I get so overwhelmed at the drugstore, just staring at all the skincare products wondering which items work the best and if this cleanser would go well with this moisturizer, etc. Here are some of my favorite skincare products (and I promise I've tried a LOT):

Cleansers

Aveeno Positively Radiant Makeup Remover Cleanser

I found this at Target and I really, really like it. Like all Aveeno products, it has a pleasant, light scent, is gentle and moisturizing and doesn't irritate your skin. What I love about this specific cleanser is that it is self-foaming and it creates this awesome lather that feels so good on your skin - you feel like you're getting a spa treatment every night! It is very gentle so sometimes I have to lather up twice for it to really get everything off my face, but for me I'd rather use a more gentle cleanser and have to use it twice than use something harsh on my skin.

Philosophy Purity Made Simple Cleanser

This is a product I've used off and on for years. Like the Aveeno, it's really gentle and will never sting your eyes, but it's a very effective cleanser and I love the smell - kind of a weird smell to try to describe, but it just smells like a spa! Almost lavender or rosemary-ish. It is definitely more expensive than the Aveeno, but it's just so effective and pleasant to use that I always end up going back to it.

Moisturizers

Neturogena Oil-Free Moisture SPF 15

Mine has newer packaging, but looks similar to this. For a day moisturizer, I usually go as plain as possible - something oil-free that won't make me greasy but will moisturize and protect my skin. This stuff is really good.

Burt's Bees Positively Ageless Night Cream

This is my nighttime moisturizer, and I really like it. Just moisturizing enough, with a nice light texture - plus a great pomegranate scent that to me smells like cranberry tea or something. It's really good, and it's all-natural which is a nice plus. I'm going to have to get more!

Eye Cream

Origins GinZing Eye Cream

This is such a great eye cream...I use it in the morning after moisturizer, and it really helps "wake up" my eyes. Besides for the ginseng and caffeine to de-puff, there's a nice luminous pink tint that helps camouflage my dark circles, which are probably my biggest beauty gripe. This eye cream plus CoverGirl Simply Ageless concealer equals bright eyes!

So there you have it...some truly great skincare secret weapons. Try them out!

Hair How-To.

This Friday night when I was heading out for dinner/drinks with my girlfriends, I couldn't figure out what to do with my hair. I recently cut bangs for myself, and while I quite enjoy them , they freak out in the humidity and it seemed like it was going to rain that night. So I ended up putting my hair up in this braided hairstyle that I've done a few times that was inspired by these pictures from glamour.com/beauty:

                     

I promise it's really easy and looks great with any hair type/texture, and it's so flattering and girly and cute! My BF always compliments my hair when I wear it this way...and you know for a guy to actually comment on a hairstyle is a big deal. Here is my how-to:

1. The first step is to start with a little texture in your hair. It doesn't really matter if your hair is totally dry or slightly damp, but either way add a little texturizing product (I just used some flexible-hold Aussie hairspray, the shine+hold one) to your hair before you start braiding. Flip your head over, spray it in and massage/scrunch your hair and flip over.

2. Next, divide your hair in half from forehead to neck, as if you were going to do pigtails, and secure one side with an elastic. you don't have to do it right down the middle; I think I look better with a slight side part, so I divided it that way. I think it looks better when it's a pretty messy part, so don't overthink it!

3. Start french-braiding the side you didn't secure. Err on the side of braiding a little more tightly - you can loosen it up later, and it will loosen on its own as you wear it. If you've never french-braided, here's a tutorial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q74Efp4P5Tw

4. Braid it all the way down to the end and secure with an elastic. Next, braid the other side of your hair.

5. Once you've braided down to the ends, take the elastic out of the first braid and gather your hair together to form a bun. you can un-do some of the braid so it's easier to get into a bun.

6. Secure the bun with an elastic and then with bobby pins if needed/desired. Finally, spray with strong-hold hairspray - I like John Frieda Moisture Barrier.

7. Ta-da!

Try it out and let me know how it goes! The biggest thing with this hairstyle is not to worry about it - it can be as messy/neat/whatever as you like! 

OMG Giada.

I finally made it over to Target yesterday; although I love the store, I have had really low energy since fall started blowing in and just couldn't muster the strength to get over there. I got some good stuff - more of their fabulous v-neck pocket tees (seriously the best t-shirts ever for 8 bucks a pop), a neon pink sports bra, a faux leather jacket, Burt's Bees toothpaste...gotta love a store where you can just get everything! My heart stopped, however, when I found the section for the new Giada for Target line. Dear sweet Lady Gaga. This line is all I've been waiting for. I'm just so pissed that it wasn't available last year when I stocked up on kitchen gadgets for my Boston apartment! It is such a great line containing everything you could ever need for your kitchen: pots and pants, bakeware, cutlery, even appliances! I died when I saw her food processor for 69.99, as opposed to Cuisinart's that go for at least 250!

Isn't it cute???

I've been wanting a food processor forever - my family doesn't even own one, even though we have random things like a bread maker and ice cream maker. I know you can usually use a blender, but like, no. I want to be official. I want to be professional. I want to be Giada.

I was going to buy myself one of her adorable red spatulas (the spatulas in my parents' kitchen are seriously lacking), but I resisted. Instead I got a jar of her Tomato Basil sauce (I read on her blog that her favorite items from her line are her pasta sauces) and I poured it over ravioli for dinner last night and it was fabulous! As soon as you open the jar, you actually smell fresh tomatoes and fresh basil, which you may not expect from a jarred pasta sauce. 

I'm excited to try her other food products and perhaps even obtain a small collection of some of her cookware and tools. I imagine that if I were to be getting married (I'm not getting married, but you know IF I were) I would immediately register for all of her products. Sigh. One day I will have the Giada kitchen of my dreams. Until then, I'm going to try some more of her recipes from this cookbook, maybe one that uses butternut squash to ring in the new season!

Giada is such a Go Austen heroine. She is talented and smart and savvy and beautiful and very much her own woman. You can tell that she's worked very hard to get where she is and that she works for pleasure as well as to make a living. She loves what she does, and that is really inspiring. You go, girl.

Summer to Fall Beauty Staples

  These are some products that I was into this summer that I believe will carry me through the next season:

Revlon ColorStay Mineral Mousse Foundation

(Photo: walgreens.com)

This foundation was seriously my secret weapon this summer. It is awesome. I wear the Fair/Light shade, which is perfect for my skin when I have a slight tan. The formula is just great; it's this really unique liquid mousse that you can apply with fingers, a sponge or a foundation brush and it's super-easy to blend and dries to a perfect, undetectable, airbrushed finish. It's sheer enough that it never gets cakey or obvious, but it does an incredible job of evening out your skin and neutralizing any redness. In addition, the tube is nice and streamlined and perfect for travel. Love.

Revlon ColorStay Eyeliner

(Photo: walgreens.com)

So apparently I have become a slight Revlon stalker, which is weird because I'm usually more into CoverGirl...anyway. This eyeliner is the shizz. I've been using Black/Brown, and it's a great shade and an even better formula; super pigmented, easy to blend, and then it DOES NOT MOVE. It's great and it really makes your eyelashes look thicker if you put it right at the lashline. I anticipate this becoming my new favorite eyeliner ever...might have to get some more colors...gray perhaps?

Stila Convertible Color in Poppy

(Photo: lookfantastic.com)

Stila Convertible Color is such a great product; if you haven't tried them, I highly recommend them. I have them in both Petunia and Poppy: Petunia is a really fabulous coral-y pink that is natural and flattering, and Poppy, which is a sheer, buildable true red. Both colors manage to have both warm and cool undertones, so I can imagine them both being flattering on a variety of skintones. Poppy has been my go-to recently - I apply it with a flat-top cream blush brush (mine is Sonia Kashuk) and slowly build the color until there's a nice flush going on. It goes on very well over the Revlon Mineral Mousse foundation, and it really lasts. A great, versatile product.

Chloe Eau de Parfum

(Photo: fashionfuss.com)

This is a beautiful, rose/peony-based fragrance that I got for my 21st birthday. I got the eau de parfum because the eau de toilette hadn't come out yet, but I just love the fragrance and I knew as soon as I smelled it that I had to have it. Since it's a parfum and is therefore very concentrated, I only need a tiny spritz for it to be noticeable (and it lasts - I put a small amount on last night and I can still smell it on my wrist this morning). Check out this perfume if you like girly, ladylike scents that aren't cupcake-y, coconut-y, or food-y in any way...the scent is both classic and modern, which I love. I could see an Austen heroine wearing it (Emma, of course...it's fit for an English rose), which makes me like it even more!

Love Your City.

(New t-shirt I got from the Gap. Normally I am not into graphic tees...but I couldn't resist.)

I am a woman that has love affairs with cities. I was born in New York and have since lived in both Vancouver and Boston, leaving pieces of my heart in both places that I will never get back. There is something about getting to know a new city that just drives me batty with desire. While New York is my first love and my home, I fell in love with Vancouver when I lived there for six months during my junior year of high school. I learned that I am a city girl, regardless of whether that city is New York or not. When it became time for me to choose a college, Boston University was perfect for me, and I fell in love with both the school and the city. I already feel heartbroken over having to leave Boston; although I know it was time after four years, and as excited as I am to start my life in New York, I feel like I was in a four-year relationship that suddenly and brutally ended. I can't think about Boston without tearing up a little. I mean just look at the gorgeousness:

(Photo: ocweekly.com)

Sigh. It is just delicious. I can't wait to go visit, even though I know it will make me feel like my heart is being torn out. This is why I just HAD to have that GAP t-shirt...I do not LIKE my city or ENJOY my city...it is pure love all the way. Pining, heartwrenching love, to the point where no matter where I am, I will always be missing at least one city. But that is how love goes.

In my attempts to "get over" Boston and get plugged back in to New York, I've been more actively pursuing what NYC has to offer. Exhibit A: the Brooklyn Bridge part movie, which I attended last week with some of my lovely girlfriends. This ended up being one of my favorite New York moments I've ever had...it was a gorgeous night, a perfect 80 degrees with a breeze, they were playing Some Like It Hot with Marilyn Monroe and Tony Curtis (if you haven't seen this delightful comedy, you MUST check it out), and beyond the movie screen was the most amazing view of New York I've ever seen. It was incredible. Of course, I was enjoying the experience so much that I forgot to take a picture, but here's one that I found:

(Photo: brooklynbridgepark.org)

This picture really doesn't do it justice...in person, the view is just overwhelmingly beautiful, especially for a city-ophile like me. The Movies With a View season is over now for the year, but you best believe that I am going to be there as often as possible next year. Great movies plus some city eye candy equals a fun time for Tara. 

Bad Day Solutions...

...According to me. You see, this Sunday I got a major case of Bad Day. PMS, stressful life situations, and my whole family being gone for the day just got me in a tizzy. The emotions bubbled over and I proceeded to sob for an embarrassingly long time in an empty house while my dogs looked at me like I was insane. It was pretty dramatic...a total "woman moment" (or "estrogen fest" as my boyfriend would lovingly call it), and it made me feel pretty pathetic and hopeless. However, I self-medicated with these things in this order and they did wonders:

1. Gilmore Girls. Lots of it.

If you know me, you know how I feel about "Gilmore." It is simply my bread and butter of life. Gilmore is just the perfect combination of wittiness, comedy, girliness, fantasy, reality...it just has everything. It entertains me, it comforts me, and I always emerge from a few episodes' viewing feeling a whole lot better about life. Besides for it just being a great show with amazing characters played by great actors, it also takes me back to simpler times, when I was in high school sending IMs to the boy I liked instead of stressing about how the IRS wants to makes our lives miserable. Gilmore is better than happy pills, I swear. Oh also, one of the episodes I watched was Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving, which made me think of one of my favorite holidays...Thanksgiving. I LOVE Thanksgiving. Which brings me to my next point...

2. Food. Lots of food.
So since I'm a wannabe actress, I've been trying to be "mindful" of what I'm eating (whatever that means). You know, keeping an eye on portion sizes, eating more fruits and vegetables, cutting back on sweets...blah blah blah. But on the Bad Day, I knew I needed to just eat whatever I wanted and not worry about it. I ate half of a thin-crust margarita pizza, a can of Progresso Beef Barley soup, lemonade, a couple of mini brownie bites things with milk. Basically I ate until I was stuffed. It was just necessary.

3. Dog walking.
I took my small pooch Molly for a walk while listening to some sweet tunes once my food had digested a bit:

Put on my sneakers, enjoyed the sunshine, listened to showtunes, made one doggie very happy. It was great.

4. Took a Shower

Because being clean and fluffy always puts me in a better mood.

5. Wine, Cooking, Feeding Others.

I poured myself a big fat glass of Chardonnay with ice and proceeded to cook...chopping up huge heads of broccoli and little grape tomatoes (chopping vegetables soothes me like nothing else...go figure), boiling up pasta, sauteeing some shrimp scampi. Then my parents came home, my best friend came over, and we all ate. I love eating, but I especially love cooking and feeding other people. Great feeling.

So these are my five steps. I encourage you to try any or all of these things next time you feel like the world is raining on your soul. While I wasn't completely cured until my hormones finally decided to get a grip the next day, I felt markedly better and confident in my ability to be alone and ok. Onward.

Oh September, I love thee...

First of all, I am loving September 2010 because it's when Sara Bareilles' new album Kaleidoscope Heart drops (Sept. 7th!), which I have impatiently been waiting for forever and I am just so excited!! She is my absolute favorite...that rare combination of incredible songwriter, instrumentalist and vocalist. Sure enough the songs that are available for preview are just amazing and I am eating them up! Her new songs will be the soundtrack of my fall in New York and will always remind me of the year I started my post-grad life. I love Sara so much my boyfriend should feel threatened.

Soooo September has always been a favorite month of mine because it means beautiful weather and back-to-school! Now I don't get to indulge in the back-to-school hoopla, and I am really sad about it. However I am venturing forth by getting excited about fall fashion and my new NYC style (which will hopefully be a big of an upgrade from my college style, which let's be honest, got a little lazy sometimes). I'm following in the footsteps of the girls over at Lucky magazine here (if you know me, you know I LOVE Lucky magazine and have an embarassing number of copies in my collection...some of which date back to 2003....yeah.). Every year one of the girls in the Editor's Picks sections proclaims something like "I just want to pretend that I'm going back to school and wear collegiate, studious-looking things!" So that's what I'm about right now. Here are some things I'm excited about for fall:

Shoes!

http://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=33940&vid=1&pid=779385&scid=779385012

The Reno High-Heel Oxford from Banana Republic
This was the first thing I saw (in the September issue of Lucky, no less) that made me go "Ah-Ha! I must have you for fall!" I think these shoes are just so cool; I love the unexpected combo of such a masculine style of shoe (my boyfriend has a pair of desert-boot/oxford shoes that remind me of these) with a feminine heel. Speaking of the heel - I love that it's a sturdy, stacked heel that won't make me feel as if I'm about to twist my ankle. I think these would just be so cute with my normal fall uniform of skinny jeans and a slouchy sweater. There are two problems with these shoes, however: one is the price ($140), which is a little steep for me, and the heel height, which is a little high at 3 1/4". I just don't know. But I love them.

Plaid Blouse

http://www.target.com/

Ok so I am pissed, because the original Steven Alan plaid blouse that caught my eye in People StyleWatch seems to ALREADY be unavailable on stevenalan.com because I can't find it! The top I liked was very similar to the Kayla top (http://www.stevenalan.com/catalog/KAYLA-TOP-p-18294-c-996-17415.html) but in this airy red-and-white plaid. It was SO cute; a fresh new version of the now ubiquitous plaid shirt. Now the only similar top I can find is this one from Target, which is also cute - I like that it has the whole collarless, slightly-drapey thing going on, but I really liked the original one from Steven Alan. Oh well, if I'm honest with myself I could never have afforded Steven Alan anyway...which is kind of the theme of my fall shopping...

Faux-fur Vest

http://piperlime.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=59637&vid=1&pid=796894&scid=796894002

So I know I'm being a total trendoid here, but this vest is just so cute. With the toggles?? Amazing. Like the BR shoes, I think this vest would make the fall staples I already have fabulous, like my collection of comfy but relatively boring long-sleeved tees flat boots.

J.Crew Toothpick Zippered Cord


I have been loving on these pants since I stumbled upon them while browsing the site randomly a few weeks ago. I must have these in Steel Green. They are just so cute....the collegiate, slightly nerdy cord material with trendy, slightly tough exposed zippers?? Yes, I say yes.

http://www.jcrew.com/womens_category/pants/corduroy/PRDOVR~28522/28522.jsp

That is all! I am going to go enjoy me some of this beautiful September-teaser weather and continue to obsess over Sara Bareilles. Tell me what you're doing today. 

I Want to Become a Runner.

I am so not a runner. I was one of those kids who tried every sport, following her mother's insistence that there had to be one athletic endeavor that I would enjoy and be good at. Nope. I thoroughly suck at all sports, and nothing is worse than running. My childhood memories of running are centered around the Presidential Physical Fitness test, a once-a-year test that they give elementary school students (at least here in New York), where you run "the mile." So instead of a normal gym class that would involve half-assed attempts at dodgeball or kickball, all of the students would suddenly be expected to go out and run a mile. I hated it. I would start out running and make a real effort, but eventually that small-elf-squeezing-your-lungs feeling would set in and I would stop and walk, feeling like crap and watching my elementary school crush zip by (not only was he a runner, but he set the record for speed every year). Not exactly the best way for me to gain confidence in my athletic ability. As a result of this athletic anxiety, I turned to dance and yoga as a way to work out that's actually fun (I may not be able to shoot a basketball, but I am damn good at learning choreography). I never even entered a gym until college when my girlfriends dragged me into the gorgeous gym at BU, taught me what an elliptical was, and encouraged me to broaden my fitness horizons.

Once I started to be able to recognize myself in workout clothes, I started to change my outlook on running. After avoiding any kind of fitness endeavor that I found too "badass" for my girly self, I challenged myself to become more comfortable with running. Now I know that running can be unhealthy if you overdo it, but I think it would be really great to be able to run one to three miles a few times a week. Being able to run at least a mile without stopping is my current goal, something that I think is doable and will really make me feel like I am on my way to being "in shape." By in shape, I mean I want to look like this:

Did Kristen Bell's physique in Forgetting Sarah Marshall just blow your mind or what? She just rocks, and I've decided that I want her jobs (another one of my goals: to become a rom-com queen), her bangs (more on this soon) and her bod. I think Kristen is a great fitness role model because she's honest about her diet (she's a vegetarian and admits to counting calories and being very careful about what she eats while also letting herself indulge here and there), has a varied fitness routine (outdoor activities as well as good ol' hitting of the gym) and hello - she's 30 and looks like she's 20! Part of this, I'm sure, is due to her petite cuteness, but still - the lady seems to have mastered the art of taking care of herself without doing ridiculous cleanses or diets. Awesome.

So yeah, I'm going to become a runner. It's going to happen. I am going to beat the elf in my chest and really be in shape, and also become a movie star and have perfect bangs that I don't get sick of...anything's possible right?

Things I Like

Hello! I'm finally back from my long family vacation in Northern California (including one of my favorite places on earth, Lake Tahoe!) and finally settling into my life. It's becoming real now that I'm actually not going back to school in a couple weeks and instead have the month of September (and every month after that!) at my own disposal, to do with as I wish. There will be work, there will be weddings, weekends, birthday celebrations with friends (I have SO many friends with September and October birthdays, it is nutty), and more importantly I will get to watch fall descend on New York for the first time in four years. I am very excited and just happy to be back with access to a computer! Here are some things I like:

Origins Ginger Souffle Body Moisturizer
Use this stuff if you want to smell fizzy, spicy and delicious like a Dark n Stormy (ginger beer and dark rum, aka a super delicious cocktail). I bought this for myself in the early spring of this year (along with the Origins GinZing eye cream, another thing I love) and it's just a yummy beauty indulgence that makes me happy. Ginger is a great all-season scent because when it's cooler the spice is nice and warming and in the warmer months its citrusy freshness is really refreshing. Love it.

L'Oreal Extra Volume Collagen Mascara

This stuff is serious mascara for when you need serious lash-thickening, eye-brightening power. I've been turning to this stuff more lately as I've been losing sleep over figuring out my life (long story) and it means business. It's a little messy, so I use either CoverGirl Volume Exact or LastBlast Fusion mascara first on top and bottom lashes and then use this stuff on my top lashes for some extra "pow." It is seriously darkening, seriously thickening, seriously lengthening...it is SERIOUS mascara. Not for the faint of heart. But very satisfying.

Saigon Grill, Downtown NYC

(Photo: www.eateryrow.com)
I just ate at the downtown location of this Vietnamese restaurant last night with my boyfriend and some friends (whee triple date!). Neil and I had been here once before and loved it but never made it back because we get lazy and tend to just hit up the great restaurants around his area in Chelsea, and this is kind of a long walk away at University and 12th. One of the great gals we were with is Vietnamese and helped us with ordering, and all of the food was just delicious. Such great combinations of flavors, spicy curry and ginger and cool mint and cucumber...yum. I had one of the best chicken curry dishes I've ever tasted, and was dreaming about it all the way home as I rubbed my food baby tummy.

Real Simple Magazine

(Photo: www.ba-reps.com)
Man, I love Real Simple. It's a lifestyle magazine that's practical while still being stylish. I love the combination of beauty, fashion, finances, food, organization...it's just great. Yes it's probably technically targeted to women in their thirties and beyond, but I feel that even their articles that don't pertain to me yet (like how to successfully get your family out of the house on time in the morning) will eventually come in handy. I love their simple recipes that focus on the pairings of great flavors (in the August issue above, they featured 3-ingredient dishes that all sound so delicious and easy). It's just a great guide on how to be a smart, classy, organized lady...which I (and therefore Go Austen) are all about.

Happy Saturday everyone!

Books I Am Reading But Should Have Already Read Because Everyone's Already Read them, Part I

I am finally reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I held off on this because a) it was such a damn phenomenon that I didn't feel like giving into the hype (I'm like this with a few things, and when I finally give in I usually kick myself, like in the case of my delayed discovering of The Office) and b) I felt like the whole post-divorce-life-overhaul thing wouldn't really be relatable for me. I was so, so wrong. Gilbert is a great writer. So good in fact (and herein lies her immense success, I believe) that I almost feel like I could have written this book, not in a self-flattering way but in a "damn this woman is so perfectly and eloquently describing almost identical thoughts to my own and I can't deal." She is so smart, so funny and so relatable and it all seems so...effortless. Like she just sat down and wrote this whole thing in one sitting, stream-of-consciousness, and it just came out perfect. Far from being the overwrought, overemotional, over-estrogenized tale that I expected it to be, it is honest and intentional, like she's confessing all and yet somehow being very selective of her words at the same time. It is remarkable and I am very glad to be reading this book at this time in my life.

I relate to Elizabeth Gilbert as a person; like her, I am also tall and blonde (and have also felt like an alien because of it at times, as she describes in one section of the book), also haven't been single essentially ever in my life, and also am searching for the way to balance to search for pleasure and the search for spirituality in life. I also, if you know me, derive more pleasure from food than from almost anything else, and I loved this passage : "For the longest time I couldn't even touch the food because it was such a masterpiece of lunch, a true expression of the art of making something out of nothing...happiness inhabited my every molecule" (64). I enjoy Gilbert's reverence for the simply beauty of life, and I am thankful for her honest account of her struggles after all of her personal turmoils...it is not so much entertainment for me so far as education. I really need this book right now.

As far as having never been single...yeah. I've really never been single. Had my first "official" boyfriend in 5th grade, but can remember being in love with somebody from preschool on. Preschool. And although I think I have been better than Gilbert at not completely losing myself in my relationships (as Gilbert says, "I disappear into the person I love" [65]), what the heck?? As Gilbert puts it, "That's almost two solid decades I have been entwined in some kind of drama with some kind of guy. Each overlapping the next, with never so much as a week's breather in between. And I can't hep but to think that's been something of a liability on my path to maturity" (65). I mean, as healthy as my relationships have been, how healthy can it be to be in a relationship for your whole adolescence and young adulthood? And now that I've met The One, I will potentially be part of a couple for the rest of my life. While that thought delights me, as I know I have been built to love and be loved, it is a little unsettling. As I read Elizabeth Gilbert's chronicle of her experiencing of romantic loneliness for the first time in her life, I'm struck by how important that experience probably is, and it's one I've never had. While it may be important, however, is it worth risking the relationship with The One so I can go hang out with that dude called Loneliness for awhile? Probably not. But maybe it does mean I'm not ready to get married. But then again, is anyone ever really "ready" to join their life with someone else's? I don't know. Gotta finish this book so I can get to Committed. Oh Gilbert, you are rocking my world.

Space to Breathe

Since my opening posts, there have been some important developments; first, my beloved family friend Kitty Gannon passed away and I attended her beautiful and heartbreaking funeral. Kitty was one of those exceptional people that had genuine kind words and a smile and a witty joke for literally everyone that she met. She was someone who told everyone around her just how beautiful and important they were to her. She had had a long life and had raised eight children and was still just full of joy and purpose. I was genuinely heartbroken at her funeral, but also greatly inspired. She is exactly the kind of woman I want to be: strong and smart and funny, with a strong faith and zeal for life. As one of her daughters said, she literally lived right until she died. I might not be able to adopt her lovely Irish accent, but I think "Live like Kitty" might be my new motto anyway.

The second development is that I flew out to northern California to visit my family last night. We come out here every year, and sometimes it has been a bit of a chore, leaving friends and boyfriends behind to come out for two weeks of "family time" (which, if you have a family, you know can be somewhat exhausting). This year, however, I could not have been more ready to get away, from pre-engagement madness and post-graduation madness and my neverending shuttling back and forth to the city. It's like a breath of fresh air to be out at my grandparents' ranch, where my grandfather is a Western artist (he's a cowboy, like for real) and my grandmother has a garden full of vegetables that I get to eat. It's the place where I used to make flower crowns for myself and gallop around pretending I was some kind of cowgirl princess. I feed carrots to Dolly and Molly (pictured above), I help my little cousins hunt for frogs and I sit on the porch watching hawks circle above the hilly country. I was so relaxed just knowing that I was here that I slept for something like ten or eleven hours last night...I just feel like I'm decompressing from life.

I went on a jog today around my grandpa's studio, and I was listening to Lady Antebellum on my iPod shuffle (being in the NoCal country makes me feel like I can shamelessly listen to my country music, whereas on the New York subway I feel like somehow everyone is judging me as I sheepishly turn down my Carrie Underwood). They have a song called American Honey that's about getting in touch with your childhood self (There's a wild wild whisper blowing in the wind/calling out my named like a long lost friend/Oh I miss those days as the years go by/Nothing sweeter than summertime and American honey). There's a line towards the end of the song that goes "Gone for so long now, I gotta get back to her somehow." I feel like in order to figure out the rest of my life, I need to really get in order who I am and where I've been. Joining Lady Antebellum in helping me out with this goal is Elizabeth Gilbert. Cue next post...

Being an Emma in a Snooki World.

First thought: why is it so hard to find the good books out there? After reading The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger a couple of summers ago, I have been so frustrated by the search for a good book. Everything at the bookstore seems too silly or too sad or too written-for-a-middle-aged-empty-nester-looking-for-a-new-start-on-life. Or the book looks great, but it's a collection of short stories, and I want a novel dammit! After searching high and low, I bought the book In the Kitchen by Monica Ali, only to realize that the main character's affair with a Russian ex-prostitute hiding from her pimp (named, of course, Boris) was making me depressed and paranoid (what if my lovely boyfriend is actually hiding a wretched Russian in his apartment and making love to her every night even though he swears he isn't attracted to her?? yech). Once again, I abandoned a book while I was halfway through it, with no desire or energy to finish it. Once that was over, I bought Eat Pray Love and received The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo from a friend, both of which I am planning on reading over my two-week family vacation that's coming up. In the meantime, I've returned to an old favorite: my old copy of Pride and Prejudice (a 30 page hunk has completely detached from the spine, which is kind of a problem) that I was reading the first summer I was dating my boyfriend four years ago. I filled all of the empty space inside the novel with early declarations of love from him, which makes this book even more special. As romantic as our relationship still is, there's nothing like those first few times that you are told that you are the love of someone's life. All mushiness aside...nothing will ever compare to Austen for me. She is just the best, and her women are the kind of woman I want to be. Fallible, prideful, and prejudiced, yes, but smart and witty, full of class, and capable of great love. Austen's writing is so entertaining yet at the same time such a wonderful exploration of what it's like to be a woman. And with our latest cultural phenomenon involving women making out with each other on TV one minute and pulling each other's hair extensions out the next (I'm talking to you, Jersey Shore. GTL my ass), I am just so pleased that Jane Austen novels exist. That is all.

Ms. Alumna

This is my new blog, welcome! I am a woman of many interests: a recent college grad who majored in Psychology and minored in Art History, participated in a wonderful student theater group (Go BU StageTroupe!) and generally enjoyed tromping around Boston like there was no tomorrow. While I know that it was time to leave after four years to return home to my beloved New York to be with family, friends and boyfriend, I will always have an ache in my heart for Boston, the city where I became a woman. I never anticipated loving college so much, and I never anticipated how it would change me. Although I left home temporarily when I was sixteen to act in a TV show that shot in Vancouver, B.C., I was attached to my family and less independent than I thought I was. In theory I loved travel, but in reality I clung to the life that I was used to and had little interest in pursuing the "college experience." That being said, I had a moment when I came to BU for an accepted students' open house and I realized that my college experience would be about more than college experience; it was a city experience. While I loved BU itself and its sprawling campus and colorful student body, I think I would have gone a little nuts if it weren't for regular excursions through and around the city, experiencing the different neighborhoods and acquiring the memories that keep flashing through my mind as I try to prepare myself to let go of the place that was my home for four years. New York is my home and my first love, but Boston is my city that was uniquely my own, where separately from the family and friends of my childhood, I made a life for myself that was rich and challenging and glorious. In this blog I am hoping to explore what I've learned and what I'm still learning about the art of being a woman (a grown-up woman). As college comes to a close and you receive that big, fat degree (it really is huge, which I found very satisfying), you start to feel these moments of "shit, I'm a grown-up, but I don't know what that even means." Life (or in my case, my mother) hands you a huge plastic filing box where you are expected to actually file and organize your bank statements, your student loan payments, your tax information. One minute everyone's saying you're young and there's no rush, and the next they're asking when you're moving, when you're taking the GRE, what your "plans" are. You go from feeling super-accomplished with your big fat degree to feeling like you haven't really accomplished anything yet, and you better start accomplishing because your friends are already naming their salaries and setting up 401(k)s. I feel like Emma when she realizes that she really has nothing figured out at all. Here we go.